Sexy Love

Baby, look what you started; look in my eyes,
Rainbow after the rain; and then the blue sky.
Follow me after midnight; in the club,
Baby, I wanna feel; your sexy love.

Watch in HD. For some reason, the image lags badly on 1080p when I’m streaming, but I downloaded the video and it plays flawlessly in VLC.
Amazing tune – the video kinda sucks because they can’t act for shit, but I guess that adds to the charm of it – they’re not trying to make it realistic, it’s just there to tell a story. I’ve had this tune in my head for days, so it’s now my ringtone :D

I watched Orphan a few hours ago. God, I never wanna see that again. It takes all the trust you have in family and the innocence of children and completely smashes it to pieces. It’s a fantastic movie, but… Damn, that was just so messed up.
The fact that I’m saying it’s messed up should say a lot.

You know, when it first came out, my sister (the one who just got married) wanted to watch it, but we never got around to it. A few months ago, we were talking about how her life would be after she got married, and we started talking about kids. She can’t have kids of her own, and she said she might foster or adopt if they decide that they want kids. On those grounds, I absolutely forbid her from watching Orphan, ever.

Merry Christmas.

First mobile post

It’s 4.45 in the morning and I can’t sleep. I’ve been in bed trying to sleep for about an hour and I’m getting nowhere. Just so many distracting thoughts.

I was watching The Girl Next Door earlier, the one with Elisha Cuthbert. Wow, she’s pretty. The movie is quite good for a romcom.

I wish I didn’t hit adolescence. Life was so much simpler when girls were just annoying people on the other side of the playground. I miss the days when I could mock love and marriage with jokes like the three-ring circus. The days when I could watch a romance film and laugh at how gross it was without feeling a twinge of bitter jealousy.

It’s pathetic that a movie can make me feel this way.

My best work

I’m in the mood for an uplifting post. Being moody takes a lot of energy, so today I’m going to post some of the stuff I used to make in photoshop – just my favourites.

I guess words are a motherfucker

How can you see into my eyes, like open doors,
Leading you down into my core,
Where I’ve become so numb…

It’s like I actively go looking to hurt myself and cause myself pain. I know I won’t be with her, ever. I also know that if I was given the chance, I wouldn’t take it. But I let myself pretend that something could happen and I still find myself imagining what it would be like.

Listening to a song, it occurred to me that I’ll never find someone like her. Is it coincidence that she was the first, and the only, person to click the Like button when I posted that statement to Facebook?

Friday marked the start of the Islamic new year. It’s customary to fast on the 9th, 10th and some people also fast on the 11th. I’m keeping fasts for the first 10 days. I want to. It’ll bring my weight back into check without mum trying to force me to eat constantly. It’ll also train my willpower; it makes me stronger against temptations like lust. I don’t need to strengthen my will against food – I can easily handle that already.

Have you ever seen that banned advert on youtube, the one with the kid and the father in the supermarket? The kid wants something, the father puts it back and the kid lets all hell break loose on the place. You know, this one. That’s the sort of thing I have to deal with on a daily basis at home. It’s partly the reason I never want kids. I mean, it’s the front that I tell everyone: they’re chaos; trouble; I can’t stand them; they get on my nerves and all that.

But there’s other, more objective reasons. Like, they require more care, handling and attention than I can give – I’m just not that responsible.

The biggest reason by far, the one I’ve been needing to get off my chest, is genetics. I already hate the fact that I have to have metal rods in me to keep me anything close to straight, or that I’ll never be as strong as other guys my age. I hate that I’m going to go through life and slowly but surely, the myelin sheathing on my nerves will wear away. I hate that it suddenly means that I could pass out at any point because the signal that controls my vitals is malfunctioning.

Why on Earth would I ever want to pass that on?

In every man’s heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty.

Had a hospital appointment today at the congenital heart disease unit to try and figure out why I keep blacking out. They couldn’t find anything, but he’s going to book me in for a 24hr tape monitor and a echocardiogram. It was pretty much a complete waste of time for me. The doctor, on the other hand, benefited from my IT proficiency. He was trying to find my sisters file, which was in a folder of word documents. Manually searching for it was taking him forever, so I told him my way of doing it – select any file, then type the first few letters of the file name. Taught him something new.

I also found out the cause of so much data theft in the public sector. It’s negligence. In that folder was a file on every patient, which contained names, addresses, date of births and a brief medical history of every patient that department, possibly even the entire hospital, has treated.
Every file was an unprotected word document. That alone is poor enough, given how my GP clinic, screwed up as the place may be, employs password protection on patient data.
In addition to that, the doctor left the room for a good five minutes, leaving the computer unguarded. My sisters file was still wide open and the folder too. Anybody who wanted to steal the data could have easily plugged a USB into the computer and copied every file in a matter of seconds.
So as I left, I told him that he shouldn’t leave the files open, and he replied that the computer automatically locks after 10 minutes. That’s 10 minutes of inactivity though – if he leaves the room, and someone starts using the computer, the 10 minute countdown won’t even start. So I told him the little Win+L shortcut to lock it. Will he use it? Not likely, but you can’t say I didn’t try.

All of these problems, they’re all in your head

And I can’t do this by myself,
All of these problems, they’re all in your head,
And I can’t be somebody else,
You took something perfect,
And painted it red.

For the past few weeks at least, I’ve not had dreams. When I sleep, I’ve just had dead sleep without dreaming. Last night broke that trend, and damn, did it break it in style or what? That was officially one of the weirdest dreams I can remember.

I don’t remember the first section, that’s completely wiped. But there were five main people in the dream: me, Alex, Tom, Dalli and Daria. Yeah, Ulus and Adam got replaced xD. Alex and Daria had a place together – a very nice house I might add, with a rather lush green carpet. We got back from wherever we went in the first part of the dream and went to their house and went straight upstairs. We took our shoes and socks off and left them at the bottom of the stairs.
Now this is where it starts to get really weird and messed up. Daria became some sort of artist with a keen interest in socks. She tried taking mine but I was scared they might smell so I wouldn’t let her have them. I put them in my shoes and she grabbed them when I turned to go upstairs. Seconds later, she had drawn them perfectly in her sketch pad.

Senseless

Saturday was the formalities of the wedding – the stuff like exchanging vows at the mosque and getting the paperwork done. Yesterday was the wedding party.
It went shockingly well.
On Friday, my dads youngest brother stirred up trouble by saying that he’s not coming because dad didn’t invite him, but dad had invited him personally at their house. Then someone I have no idea how I’m related to (no, seriously, I haven’t got a clue) kicked up fuss because we didn’t invite their extended family. Idiots – we didn’t even invite most of our own extended family, let alone their extended family.

And again…

I’m either obsessed or infatuated.
What’s the difference?

And with someone this stunning, who cares?

Race

I’ve gone from lagging in my database assignment to being well on target in about two days. I just need to get the write up done for task 9 and I’m sorted.
Alex made a jib-jab video of the 5 of us doing a chippendales style dance. It was epic to say the least. I somehow got landed with the lead/opening dancer, which combined with the face I pulled for the photo made for a weird but funny opening.

Taj winds me up, a lot. When she’s happy with me, which she was today, she’s overly friendly. When I showed her the chippendales video she was screaming in laughter, grabbing me, shaking me, even smacked my head into Alex’s. But when she’s not, she can be a total bitch.
So I’ve decided, I don’t like her as a person. With the exception of one teacher from primary school, I’ve always been able to be quite friendly with teachers. I’m not going to try with Taj anymore. Just forget it.

Bitter Warmth

I finally got around to ordering my new contract with T-Mobile. I want a new phone, but I won’t get one until I get a reliable source of income (job). That’s my own compromise to make me get a job; no job, no phone.

Once I ordered it, it offered to let me make an account with their web interface. It took me so long to decide on a password that my session timed out and I lost that chance. I’ll make it when I get the SIM.